


Annoying a certain K1-B0 half to his grave, a guide by Kokichi Ouma

by bunmikuu



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Gen, I posted this before but its deleted now, Kiibo !! Doesnt !! have !! a !! Dick, Kiibo is too innocent for anything, Kinda, Mainverse, No spoilers !!, Or does he :), Rated teen because of Ouma, Shuichi wishes he has better friends, but on the side - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunmikuu/pseuds/bunmikuu
Summary: It was a bright and sunny day outside, a wonderful day for relaxing, possibly bug-catching, and annoying a certain K1-B0 half to his grave.This was the reason a certain black-with-some-slight-purple-highlights-haired male was standing outside Kiibo’s front door, knocking, then ringing the doorbell, knocking, ringing the doorbell, and continuing the cycle until he was sure that either1) Kiibo wasn’t home, {improbable}, or2) it was also annoy-ouma-by-making-him-wait-outside-day.





	Annoying a certain K1-B0 half to his grave, a guide by Kokichi Ouma

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this before, for some reason, Hi! I posted this several months ago, on a different account. Nothing was changed or added, so, sorry.
> 
> Hope you enjoy if you're new!

It was a bright and sunny day outside, a wonderful day for relaxing, possibly bug-catching, and annoying a certain K1-B0 half to his grave.

 

This was the reason a certain black-with-some-slight-purple-highlights-haired male was standing outside Kiibo’s front door, knocking, then ringing the doorbell, knocking, ringing the doorbell, and continuing the cycle until he was sure that either

1) Kiibo wasn’t home, {improbable}, or 

2) it was also annoy-ouma-by-making-him-wait-outside-day.

 

Ouma pressed a finger against the buzzer, holding it until he could almost feel the robot’s annoyance radiating through the door.

 

If robots could even feel annoyance- Ouma would have to quizz Kiiboy on it later. He mentally placed the question on his bucket list, right between ‘pestering Kiibo half to death’ and another robots vs humans question, ‘can robots die?’

 

The male removed his finger from the doorbell, frowning to himself. ‘Can robots even die? How unfair, if Kiibo was part of a killing game, but he was immortal! Ouma would have to sue him!’ 

 

He was interrupted from this, admittedly random train of thought- [ was anything he did nowadays not random?] by the door that he had positioned himself in front of swinging open.

 

Rather violently, if he had to be honest- a trait that he was not well known for.

 

Ouma took an exaggerated step back, opening his mouth a fraction of an inch. His hands flew up to his upper chest, splaying open in a universale display of indignation. 

 

“Ahh! Kiiboy!” He exclaimed, his own violet eyes searching the robot’s face. “You almost killed me! If you kill me, I’ll sue you!” Ouma shoved an accusing finger at Kiibo’s chest, pressing against the sleek metal. Ouma seemed to have picked up Kiibo’s way of threatening people with ‘sueing’, either as an unintensional habit or as a subtle way of mocking.

 

Kiibo had assumed his usual stance in the doorway of his room, his feet about a foot, [hah] apart, hands laxed at his side. He raised one of his hands to push away Ouma’s own fist that was clearly invading his personal area. 

 

“It’s rude to point.” Kiibo replied dryly- if a robot could insert any emotion in its voice. An unsaid ‘i would sue if you pointed at me again’ followed his statement. “Besides, the door swings inwards.” He replaced his metal-gloved hand to the door, and swung it a few times, only a few inches either way, to prove his point.

 

Ouma laughed, stretching his arms up, above his head, and then tucking them behind his skull- his usual pose.

 

“Neehee! You got me there!” He exclaimed, his annoying nasally giggle preceding the statement. 

 

“What do you need? I was busy.” Kiibo interjected tartly, causing Ouma to raise a hand to his mouth in mock ‘shock’.

 

“Busyyy?” He drew out the ‘y’, volume slowly increasing in pitch. “Ahh! Busy- Busy doing what? Ohh!” He gave a small shout of surprise. “ I know whatt! But, I won’t tell anyone! Let men be men, hmm?” Ouma winked, making a ‘shush’ motion with his right hand, the left dropping back down to his side.

 

A small break of silence ensued, brought to you by ‘Kiibo is too innocent for the world ™’.

 

Kiibo tilted his head, ‘narrowing’ his eyes in confusion.

“What do you mean….?’ He asked slowly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer. This feeling was promptly confirmed when Ouma brought his hands to hover above his chest again, one hand forming an ‘ok’ sign, the other hand extending a pointer finger. Said pointer finger was inserted into the ‘ok’s hole’, and Kiibo made an indignant cry. Apparently robots could blush, for this robots face was a delicate shade of tomato.

 

“No! Ouma! How dare you suggest something so- so- lewd! Besides! I don’t have a dick- so such activities are impossib-”

 

He was cut off by a peal of laughter, Ouma clutching his chest and shaking with giggles.

 

“Neehee! Surree!” The teen grinned, returning his gaze back to the now very annoyed, and slightly flustered, robot.

 

“So! What were you doing them- if not the whang-bang?” 

 

Kiibo flushed more, his own eyes darted to the side. He had been practicing his singing- but this was a fact that he would admit over his dead body.

 

“I was… charging.” He answered, finally, Ouma frowning at the answer. 

 

“Ah! You see, this is another way humans are better than robots! Weee don’t have to charge!” Ouma pressed a thumb against his chest. When all else fails, go for the robophobic remarks ™. 

 

“Yes you do! You sleep!” Kiibo retorted, crossing his arms. Ouma shook his head, grinning all the while.

 

“Non! We don’t haaave to! Besides, we don’t have to use a mile long cord- Does that cord ever get tangled! Ohh! What if you get tangled in it- who would help you then? Nobody! You see, humans neverrrrr! Have this problem! Ever!”

 

Kiibo puffed out his cheek [??], tensing slightly in annoyance- but a shimmer of longing glimmered in his eyes.

 

Ouma noticed this, of course, and his cheshire-cat grin widened. 

 

“Ohh, Kiiboy wants to be a real-boy! So he can sleep, and eat! Eat all you want, juicy fruits and yummy sweets-” He feigned swooning- slumping against Kiibo who in turn stiffened in discomfort.

 

Kiibo was saved- thank whatever gods that was looking over his soul- by a certain Ultimate- Detective walking up to the duo.

 

“Hello Kiibo, Ouma. What are you two doing?”

 

Kiibo huffed, shoving Ouma off of him. Ouma yelped, throwing his arms out to catch his balance.

 

“Ouma’s bothering me. Make him go.” Kiibo replied to Saihara, who looked disapprovingly at the shorter teen. 

 

“Gasp! Ahh! Betrayal! I thought you loved my company, Kiibo!” Faux tears welled in his eyes, and he sniffled- of course, both had been long trained to ignore the other’s fits.

 

Kiibo narrowed his own eyes at Ouma, before stepping back into the threshold of his room. The door shut with an audible click- the sound of a robot stomping away from the door permeating the rough silence that had fallen over the detective and the world leader.

 

Ouma grinned at Saihara- and it didn’t take a detective to know what that mischievous glimmer in Ouma’s violet eyes meant.

**Author's Note:**

> Toodles !!


End file.
